Continuing from my article “Becoming a Passé Pastor – 10 Hot Tips,” I have been dissecting the ten different elements that I contended were very important to continued relevance in kid’s ministry.
Whilst building rapport with children through talking to them is important to gain value for the message you are presenting, so is gaining rapport with parents. We shouldn’t be afraid to speak to parents, believe it or not, they are not out to see you fail! Parents are not your enemy; they are your greatest partnership. My fear is that if we as children’s workers and pastors don’t build a significant working relationship between ourselves and parents through conversation, we will never get the opportunity to build a relationship with their kids; they will take them elsewhere.
I recently heard Michael Chanley speak on the epic divide between the small amounts of hours per year we as ministers have with kids, compared with huge amounts of hours parents have with their kids. Put in short: parents by default have a lot of influence in their children’s lives and we need to partner with them in that! Partnership is what it’s all about. When we partner with someone, we talk with them, not just preach to them. Partnership is about discourse and conversation, not dictation, nobody particularly likes dictators. Building that partnership, in part by taking the time to speak to parents, is something that every mature person working with children should take the time to do.
Here are some thoughts about our communication and presentation as kid’s churches to parents:
- First impressions last: In your registration area, the first communication your team has with a parent is likely to be the communication that sticks. It is important to have your best and brightest in that area, those who are knowledgeable and passionate about your kids program, not those who are cynical or aloof. It is important that parents are dealing with people whom they feel are genuinely concerned with their children’s wellbeing, rather than someone who couldn’t care less. The people who parents encounter first should be warm, well-presented, alert and genuine in their interaction with others, especially parents.
- Details impress: When you take care to listen to details, or comment on issues that seem peripheral, parents will warm to you. Things like parent’s names, allergies their children might have, remembering a key detail from a previous conversation, even just the simple act of taking the time to speak to them after the session is done. There is of course a single lane highway to a parent’s heart, that is, praise their child for their positive attributes and achievements. Remembering details shows that you are serious in your attempts of partnering with them, that you genuinely care and want to work with them.
- Build trust: We need to take the time, in whatever way that we can – whether it is verbal, printed etc to let parents know our safety procedures and what happens inside kid’s church. This is paramount to letting parents know that you are going out of your way to make kids church a safe place. Our doors always need to be open to parents who want to come and watch, in fact welcomed. If parents trust you then they will trust you with their kids – full stop.
Parents are not an entity to be feared, but one to be partnered with. Partnership begins with conversation, not dictation or avoidance. Make sure that the simple act of talking to parents is one that you use to build relationship in your Kids Church.
Let the conversation begin!
